Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
