Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
