Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
