smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
