I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
