oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
