do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's shark week go big or go home
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
