quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
