sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
