I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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