She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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