I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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