They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I will pee on everything he values.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
