She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
