Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
