Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
