Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
two words: eviction party
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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