Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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