worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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