Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I have feelings that need drinking.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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