just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
