I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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