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Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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