I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
