We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
