from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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