I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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