Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
