she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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