READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I will be naked everywhere
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
