why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
