New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you inspire me to be a worse person
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
