Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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