I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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