How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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