She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
