mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
