Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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