yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
