I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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