Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
