Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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