I don't usually arrange sex via text message
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
