so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
