i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
