Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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