I am puke
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
