OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
how drunk are you?
Several
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
