If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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