Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Randomize
