His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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