Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
